Liminalist # 26.5: The Ennui of I

ennui-I

Solo interlude, Jasun by the lake, on anger, creative compulsion, ennui, the fatigue of ego, & Kevin Smith’s pig heaven.

Songs: “Hello the Fuck Out There” by FrenchRadio Constellation; “Fingers,” “Monkey on Your Back,” “Home,” by Clinic.

 

16 thoughts on “Liminalist # 26.5: The Ennui of I”

  1. Pathetic in the futility of it all. The signal is weak and sporadic in the overwhelming white noise. I can relate. Nature is still beautiful, even this increasingly self- destructive human nature when viewed through a particular lens at a particular time of day.

    Why father why?! Why not. It’s only temporary.

    Reply
      • I hear you, there are ups and downs and all arounds but to my mind it kicks True Detective, the nebulous redux, all over the place. The last episode (Mr. R.) was interesting. It’s a mindfuck. True Detective II – wtf is going on? Corruption (and lots of blase dialogue) – whoop-dee-doo. Different strokes.

        Reply
  2. ”..they didn’t even have the decency to respond, so I’ll take that as a tacit yes”, was the best laugh I’ve had in weeks.
    I was in my own personal version of what you’re expressing, back in February – May. I thought, ‘if this is the eternal now, you can fucking keep it. I’m sick of it, I’m sick of myself, I’m sick of everything. I’ve had enough.’ Then some kind of breakthrough in slow motion happened between June and now. I didn’t have any epiphanies, more like the realization that there was nothing I could do to get rid of this feeling; no distraction ever invented was going to give me relief. I just had to suck it up and accept it until it changed. And it did. Part of the reason it shifted, is due to re-finding your podcasts. I went back to the Stormy Weather & Warty Theorums podcasts and listened to the all. Your honest expression helped me immensely — so thank you.

    Reply
    • Fantastic; I am in the slow motion breakthrough now & maybe vomiting up this last bit of bile helped allow for that (as well as the awesome bleakness that was True Detective season 2); expect some interesting podcasts.

      Not sure how you listened to all of warty stuff, I thought I’d removed all but a few sample shows…? A bit embarrassed by it now, tho I know that’s wrong of me. (love all your children)

      Reply
      • Yes, a few sample shows. I also saw your pijamasurf interview & the redice interview (someone uploaded the members only section as well) on youtube.

        I sent my comment before finishing the podcast, and was thinking to advise you to do a parasite cleanse — then you mentioned doing a cleanse. I just had my yearly aya ceremony with lots of mapacho and that cleans out the shit like nothing else. La Purga is very necessary some times. I have this idea that we’re constantly picking up parasites and we have to regularly cleanse, so they don’t get the upper hand. They are a kind of intelligence living in the body, and their desires to get fed can over-run our desires for wholeness. It’s my opinion that they affect our moods. Jupiter’s just gone into Virgo, so it’s a great time for cleaning and getting healthy.

        Reply
  3. Maybe John Michael Greer can recommend some sort of Druidic banishing ritual on the coke-house? It might be that the ghostly traces of ennui-combatting coke-heads is inciting bouts of druggy enui? To get rid of that is why I did the stuff at one convivial time. But now I just have a clear-headed ennui which I deal with by sleeping or resting catatonically supine in bed. Still, I tend to be dysthymic about humans in general, especially myself. But I try to make myself interesting enough so that my friends receive invitations to parties saying “and be sure to invite your boring friend along.”

    Reply
    • It’s not a coke house anymore and my view is that it’s the opposite to how you’re imagining it, ie, the solution, not the problem. There are several (& sufficient) causal factors for my recent “slump” (sojourn in the underworld) without needing to look further. Tho I did smudge recently, so it’s not entirely irrelevant.

      Midway through renovations I had a dream that the house was full of ghosts. I understood that the ghosts were able to return from under the earth to haunt the premises now that we had cleared out the toxins of the recent residents enough for them to feel at home there. That was a progression. The ghosts, being aspects of my past/psyche aren’t to be banished but welcomed back (made conscious) in order to be re-integrated into the psyche.

      Reply

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