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Part two of conversation with Frances Hutchens, on public trauma-sharing, being triggered by death, love & violence, trauma-based culture, domestic murder scene, parkour and body work, premeditation, a pawn in the game, inter-generational trauma, the option of consciousness, an abuse spectrum, the unsaid and the unseen, ancestral patterns, a ripening of patterns, MKULTRA school, pressure & process, an ancestral meta-organism, what you hold sacred, nothing is more important than nothing, learning backflips, the reality of the body’s experience.
Songs: “The Kommema and his Religion” & “Of the Lakes,” by SunWalker; “Morning Birds” by Kristin Hersh; “A Place for Joy” by My Jacket is Yours.
Through my interest in Shak sper, I realized some of the apocryphal plays were by that author , early known as Marly / Marlowe.
I might have written to you about this already but “A Yorkshire Tale” is the story of a man, a husband who kills his children and and stabs his wife; has no remorse afterward except for self -pity [typical psychopath] is from early 1600’s
http://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/4255/pg4255-images.html
It’s in my family too [attempted murder, not murder], when my mother was 9
My mother had a hard time forgiving her father. At the very end of her life, around 90 she was able to let it go. Yes, she did hate him. Sometimes she thought he ruined her life, but then, she did not want to give him that power. She succeeded in spite of him and the rest of her family. She said she was lucky she was the black sheep, considering the family she came from.
I think being able to surface the hate for him was a positive step for her. At first she could not even think of it and had blocked it from her mind [She was in the next room when he did the assault]
She was in psychotherapy and kept having her nose run if something upset her. The memory of her father trying to kill he, trying to drown her in the ocean, came back – and from then she never had the nose runs. [the Mother, my Grandmother Sarah, stopped him.]
Then, after the awareness she wouldn’t let herself think for talk about it.
Then the letting it go,
The forgiveness came at the very end when she realized she did not know him and that he was a sick man [which is true].
Then the hate again, “It’s alright for me to hate him” She was comfortable with hating him, which pretty much is healthy. The fact she wavered back and forth between forgiveness and hate shows the ambivalence, which is also alright.
She never “understood” him, that’s for sure. But certainly you can’t “understand” someone who is insane or a psychopath [or both] except in the context of pathology/ illness.
Something you said about Nihilism in this recording reminded me of a saying my Mother had:
“If it’s true, so what? If it’s not true, so what? ”
She “worked on herself” [therapy , spiritual paths et cetera ] for at least 40 years and helped other recovered alcoholics. That was her lifeline to personal health.
She was known as a great and popular public speaker for the AA community. She had a day named after her in Hawthorne California. She also wrote “romantic” pulp fiction for magazines in the 50’s. “True Confessions” , like that.
I got to take care of her and have her near me for the last eight years of her life. My sister and I worship her. The brothers [she had two sons my half – brothers] never were close.
Her maiden name was “Richardson” and that family were descended from the one of the three Richardson brothers who came in the 1630 by boat [with “Puritan” John Winthrop], who were non-conformist Religious people escaping England.
Her father was the youngest of 4 brothers.
The original brothers came from Westmill, Hertfordshire, England. The family was here a long time.
I have yet to study the depth of it and my cousins too much. Rumor from my mother was : “The Richardson’s were known to be good – looking , but poor” Maybe because insanity runs in the line? I don’t know. I don’t mean to be glib .It’s less then humorous if it honestly happens to you or your family. If there is serious mental illness in the family it can be very destructive and expensive.
Sorry for all the typos. Didn’t proof read.
found this , Maybe we were cursed by, not only Anne Hutchinson, but by the Natives? (She’s also a cousin, ironic.. Inbreeding from too few people, everybody is a cousin.. )
“”…. And after many speeches to and fro, at last she was so full as she could not contain, but vented her revelations; amongst which this was one, that she had it revealed to her that she should come into New England, and she should here be persecuted, and that God would ruin us and our posterity and the whole state for the same. So the court proceeded and banished her; but because it was winter, they committed her to a private house where she was well provided, and her own friends and the elders permitted to go to her, but none else. “