The Liminalist # 193: A Yes in the Cells (with Heather Tracy)

Return conversation with Heather Tracy.

Part 1: A War in the Cells (0 – 26 mins) . On personal evolution, the reality of organized trauma, from history to personal history, from unconscious to conscious, the quest for enlightenment, a healing arc, faith, the world as distortion, cradled horror, the devil as God’s helper, being OK with the horror, the opiate of the masses, the stance of hip, the bottom of the pit, what’s beyond the pit, physical anguish, an imaginal writhing, coagulated despair, the body’s gift, avatars for the body & the intellect, Christ & Lucifer, a binary system, a war in the cells.

Part 2: The Root of the Conspiracy (26 – 54 mins). What was done to us as children, between macro & micro, the root of conspiracy, conscious motives, unconscious drives, and results, closing the book on Leonard Cohen, poison in the water, negative adaptation, adding layers, projecting an image, growing sated on culture, experiences of goodness, hope for salvation, human intervention as conduit to the divine, the pull of organized worship, a distorted lens, a certain type of surrender, a well-defined wound, traumatization & programming, when the sharks show up, Hollywood intel., Dave McGowan, Sophia & the Archons, the urge to scapegoat, rejecting the world within, flying monkey attack, the power of paranoid delusions.

Part 3: An Iceberg of Trauma (54 – 1:23 mins). Seeing persecution as validation, punishing vulnerability, healthy doubts, the pressure of growth, the position of Archon, benevolent malevolence, the impossibility of harming, law of the jungle in society, awareness of one soul, cruelty on the internet, the delicacy of interconnectivity, an iceberg of trauma, required triggering, the nigh-impossibility of trust, listening to the body, turning down the distortion, where is the mind, neuro-feedback, pre-natal peace, absence of fear,

Part Four: An Experience of the Transmission (1:23 – 1:52 mins). Dave Oshana’s womb meet, paradise lost, before the mind, an abandoned body, enjoying the body, the healing power of affinity and respect, the pain of experiencing love, a yes in the cells, an experience of the transmission, a foreign vitality, Dave’s face, staying eight forever, the price of coolness, the mind’s configuration against the love, a floating sense of delight, the unconditional condition of love, a tangled web of not-love, the fascination of the labyrinth, left-brain dissociation, the mind as DID, the portion of awareness that is safe, the Dave event, trust and the need for an intervention, other beings, endlessly seeking the good, a terrifying conundrum, freedom from mind

Part Five: A Thief in the Night (1:52 – end).  A preference for nonhuman entities, turning to one another, one big avoidance project, from John de Ruiter to Dave Oshana, seeing humanness, a thief in the night, ordinary trustworthiness, unlovable examples of enlightenment, enlightened psychopaths, a reptilian state, icy transcendence, how do you know the Antichrist, the spiritual version of Clint Eastwood, the difference between power and freedom, the ultimate psychological risk management system, multitasking trauma, true power as radical vulnerability, the smart move, cognitive dishevelment, reality checking. 

Heather’s site:

Songs: “Knob Wobbler,” by Gib Strange; “Gotta Get Right” by Eilen Jewell; “Answer Me” by The Apartment; “Between My Ears” by Little Teeth;  “If You Are Hell Girl” by The UpsideDown; “These Words Are Yours,” by Hazelwood Motel

13 thoughts on “The Liminalist # 193: A Yes in the Cells (with Heather Tracy)”

      • Scariest cat I’ve ever heard. Maybe that was the foreshadowing?

        Before you label me, or ban me, or whatever, please know I have love in my life, and spiritual roots, and I am open to what you are saying. I’m not a princess either, I’ve had to deal with my fair share of shit…I’m just trying to call it like I see it.

        Like Heather, I too had a physical reaction to Jasun when he said things like “the transmission,” “you’re ready,” and “Dave is Enlightened.” I don’t think it’s a matter of semantics at this point, it sounds like someone who is brainwashed attempting to induct someone else (don’t fall for it sister). When you repeat these things over and over, it’s reminds me of the obsessive compulsive requirement for mantra, or spellcasting to work. It does work, but that doesn’t mean it’s healthy.

        I have a “born-again” cousin who has said things about feeling the power of Christ in his body. I don’t doubt that he has. I don’t doubt that Jasun has experienced “the transmission,” but there is a certain amount of proselytizing that comes across as insanity. I don’t see it as vulnerability either, when my cousin starts preaching at family gatherings…I get the same reaction in my body. I see self-doubt and the need to convert others as the ego seeking power (still). Be careful, Jasun.

  1. I went to London and tried to have a glance of Sebastian’s famous door plaque at meard st, the plaque isn’t there anymore. That night a series of bad events related to prostitutes and scam artists started to happen to me.

  2. For me, this was a stand-out podcast both at the time & listening back, in terms of depth, substance, and scope. It’s a shame that so far the only comments have been superficial, at best, and paranoid & fear-mongering, at worst.

    My wife remarked that it’s rare for such intimate conversations to happen even in private, never mind in the public realm, & this might account for the lack of response, as if people feel awkward about intruding (the more sensitive ones I mean).

    Privately, I’ve been told that listening to it has been therapeutic and cathartic.

    • Jasun…I have to say that this conversation with you deepened my respect for who you are, and for the delicacy, honesty and discernment of your entelechy.

      The importance of your dedication to asking & attempting to answer the nuanced questions that plague so many of us is difficult to overstate. As someone who wanders this world handicapped by disfiguring trauma effects, Auticulture and The Liminalist are Light Oases in an environment that often feels alienating, in all senses of the word.

      This experience is one that I will always cherish. If that sounds sentimental, so be it.

      Much appreciated, my friend.

      • hi Heather – I had to look up entelechy, nice move – it’s another word for transmission! 😉

        the supposed vital principle that guides the development and functioning of an organism or other system or organization.
        “such self-organization required a special biological force—entelechy”
        the soul.


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