Conversation with Alex Rushfirth on family relations, autism, expression, and art, ancestral patterns, and musical distress signals.
Part One: The Edges of Experience (0 – 39 mins)
First day of lockdown # 2 in the UK, ancestral trauma & living with one’s parents in a lockdown, a test of acceptance, re-enacting childhood, Hermitix podcast, a philosophy degree, the edges of experience, a life punctuated by illness, when reality kicks you down, university life, mind-caused illness, the quest for cleanness, meeting Dave Oshana, to allow things to be what they are, a job interview in pyjamas, life as an anomaly, seeking ways to express, communicating discomfort, autism as a negative definition, Auticulture early days, artists & autists, dyslexia, shedding layers, situating oneself among people.
Part Two: Ancestral Pressures (39 mins – 1 hr 20 mins)
An oxymoronic label, organisms that don’t adopt language, Magical Child, language as body armor, thinking & doing, the tragic consequence of internalizing language, a linguician, why low-functioning autists don’t learn language, symbolic emotional processing, a musical prodigy, pictures of the body, a perfect version of the self, the dishonesty of academia, language as a closed door, ossification and de-ossification through language, parental pressure to succeed, subtle signals of coercion, ancestral pressure, a fraught relation with Dave, and older brother groove, the opportunity of being triggered, conveying the vibe, pushing out the life force.
Part Three: Materializing Feelings (1 hr 20 mins – 1 hr 55 mins)
The need to be oneself, parental programming, a lifetime of frustration, a man’s foes are those of his own household, opposing body languages, inside the Big Brother house, manic performances, a mysterious illness, moving from sport to music, the highs & lows of a natural musician, body distortion and voice constriction, unusually driven, materializing feelings, a problem of communication, esoteric lyrics, constant tension, connecting to heaven & earth, forward motion without height or depth, a point of tension.
Part Four: A Different Orientation (1 hr 55 mins – end)
A distress signal from a taught instrument, when the drive entered, closing down & schooling, a cry for help, an attempt at auto-exorcism, power & sensitivity, the trap of siddhis, trauma and charisma, abducted by aliens, giving up gifts to become whole, feeling a room, back to communal roots of music, attempts at self-promotion, a control dynamic, a different orientation, celebrity neurosis, opening to the unconscious vs. the drive to success, art as communication, creation as discovery, song-writing in dreams, Liminalist music selections.
Podcast Art: Martin Jolly
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