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Transitional podcast to end season one of The Liminalist, an equinox in Jasun’s life, dreams of Garbanzo, the grieving process, astral lucid dreams, looking forward to death, the seasons of life, the natural cycles of consciousness, a transmission from the doldrums, death without rebirth, the failure of knowledge, the uselessness of self-pity, love, inadequacy, & pain, the worm in the apple of marriage, endless suffering, the thread of love, an unconditional receiver/giver of love, the basic purr of love, when everything falls away, Garbanzo’s primal transmission.
Songs: “Cat Gone Song,” by FrenchRadio Constellation; “Impossible Love (Gato Team Remix),” by The Chemistry Set.
That’s a pretty damn shocking title man.
Which part?
“The liminalist finale”, I thought the podcast was coming to an end just as I was arriving. I listened to it yesterday morning though and all was made clear.
Jasun,
are you seeking meaning in Garbonzo’s death?
how bout this one; your public mourning is causing some people to face the grief debt they have papered over and endlessly refinance to keep at arms length…
its “fukc you pay me” time for a lot of us.
Do you think Garbonzo’s death was pointless?
You had a friend and now you have a hole.
You could plant something in it?
Or you could make the “hole” into a monument of sorts to Garbonzo and continue through life in a semi permanent state of mourning?
But IF, as you describe, your souls merged into one, some kind of cross species psychic amalgamation…
The time you two spent together could be considered a “long game” reverse trauma?
You are so lucky. Most people don’t know what it is and they will never get it.
I can make it worse?
What if you died and G was wandering around looking for you?
Garbonzo now lives rent free inside your skull.
Nicely put; tho he’s not in my skull; he’s evenly distributed.
‘Delia Elena San Marco’ by Jorge Luis Borges
We said goodbye on the corners of the Plaza del Once.
From the other sidewalk I turned to look back; you had turned, and you waved goodbye.
A river of vehicles and people were flowing between us. It was five o’clock on no particular afternoon. How was I to know that that river was the sad Acheron, which no one may cross twice?
Then we lost sight of each other, and a year later you were dead.
And now I search out that memory and gaze at it, and I think that it was false, that under the trivial farewell lay an infinite separation.
Last night I did not go out after dinner. To try to understand these things, I reread the last lesson that Plato put in his master’s mouth. I read that the soul can flee when the flesh dies.
And now I am not sure whether the truth is in the ominous later interpretation, or in the innocent farewell.
To say goodbye to each other is to deny separation; it is to say today we play at going our own ways, but we will see each other tomorrow. Men invented farewells because he somehow knew himself to be immortal, even while seeing themselves as contingent and ephemeral.
One day we will pick up this uncertain conversation again, Delia –on the bank of what river?–and we will ask ourselves whether we were once, in a city that vanished into plains, Borges and Delia.
Did you time this to coincide with BREXIT? Sometime it’s easier to die than to dissolve a marriage. Then again, it’s not that easy to die.
Hey mahn , howzitgoin ? Sorry been busy of late jousting with all the rabid lefties at online campus and trying to inject some liminality into the proceedings .
My cat is fine but i sent some of my cows for slaughter the other day and felt sad . Some nights my partner and i are out in a paddock pulling a dead calf out of a stricken cow by torchlight . We cant have kids so its quite the psychodrama for us , but we wouldnt give it up for quids . We listen for their cries as we lie in bec during calving season. Its all about the Anschauungen and the Wahrnemungen.
Cheers
“Some nights my partner and i are out in a paddock pulling a dead calf out of a stricken cow by torchlight . We cant have kids so its quite the psychodrama for us , but we wouldnt give it up for quids . ”
Jasun,
Do you think “childless” people are over represented among your listeners/readers?
I get the sense we are?
If so, why do you think it is?
Based on my own experience, I get the sense children are a giant ego trip in addition to being a valid distraction.
Do/did you get any pressure to produce offspring?
or take over a country and make yourself a colonel?
Do you think “childless” people are over represented among your listeners/readers? … If so, why do you think it is?
Now you mention it, yes. As to why, perhaps it has to do with how my primary focus is the sexual abuse of children? This is not something parents much want to think about or even acknowledge exists. I think something happens when a person becomes a parent that entails their focus moving away from themselves to another. This can be liberating and ego-dissolving, but I think more often it entails less and less time or tendency to look inward, to self-examine, and at the same time, to be willing or even able to look at the true state of the world which they are bringing a child into. Of course, this is just an informed guess. I suspect it would be the case for me anyway. I said to someone recently that I thought I would be a lot more afraid and despairing at the state of the world if I had children.
On the other hand, engaging with raising a child itself must be a massive opportunity for letting go and for re-experiencing one’s primary traumas ~ it more or less demands it, unless one is going to pass on those poisons to the next generation.
I have never felt any pressure to have children except what came from myself and my own desire. It is perhaps my primary regret that it has not happened, even while recognizing that there seem to be very good reason why it hasn’t.
It’s a special thing to listen to a person for years (since ‘Stormy Weather’); I feel like I know a great deal about you and your history, yet you know nothing about me. I feel bad about Garbanzo’s passing and I know that doesn’t relieve any of your pain, but want you to know that I’m sorry.
p.s. thanks for turning me on to ‘Big Blood’ — great music
just wanted to send my love x