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Part two of the Icarus Story (Chronicles of a False Awakening), Jasun explores his past, on hitting a wall, a secret chamber, a liminal space, the shifting sands of identification, an epic time, what a magician does, a reversion to type, the myth of Narcissus, animating a hungry ghost, the godhead speaks, falling under the spell of the One, riding the psychedelic wave, what’s the value of visions, movies of the mind, working on a jigsaw puzzle, conceiving The God Game, life and death, a gift from the id, there in the tone of voice, identifying the transmission, the synchromystical tunnel, an under layer of violence, emerging wrath, magnifying a collective delusion, taking heaven by storm, one mistaken idea, a bad seed, the movie shaman, psychedelic agenda, false visions from the Culture God, Hideous Insidious, Wangus on the penis, body problems, the twinkle of humor, a fragment of the whole, how the body expels the splinter, seduced by the idea of uniqueness, remembering the other self, when the id takes over, a secret identity, rejecting Clark Kent, living an epic life, caught in a trap, man of the people, the difference between being the One and becoming whole, an acid trip that never ends, psychedelics & stress, destroy the schmuck, a ruthless guru, a reality tunnel, a doomed mission of soul rescue.
Accompanying article: Lucifer In Chains: Chronicles of a False Awakening Part 2
Songs: “Nothing Left,” by Brown Bird; “Eulogy for Whiskers,” by Whitehorse; “Twin Suns” by Dlay & “Perception Through Comatose State” by Arcane Waves (Mash up); “Gone” by Gary Heidt; “The Stories We Tell Ourselves” by The Womb;
I truly appreciate you sharing this Jasun. This podcast really helped me understand what you were relating. The first one seemed to go over my head.
after listening to PT. 2, I’ve realized that I can identify with much of what your saying. I believe that you are on the right track in attaining your goals.
thanks AI: interesting that the first went over your head; can you say more? what was your reaction to it?
I’m actually going to listen again and will let you know
After listening to the 1st part again, I realized that part of what was “going over my head” was becoming more conscious of the fact that I possibly shared some of the same process you did. Meaning, my last comment said that I “identify” with your story. But, some of the process you experienced may be the same.
Besides getting a bit lost with some of the analogy you used and your examples of books you read that I didn’t, I believe some of the things that went over my head was actually me not being more conscious of the finer details of some of my own personal experience.
somewhat tantalizing… i guess you are referring to the gap between archetypal experiences or descriptions and personal? Does your disconnect relate to your Catholicism, perhaps?
Yes, I would agree you described the gap between personal and archetypal experience as correct.
Ha ha!!! I think the disconnect relates mostly to ptsd and sheer terror on my part! I’m laughing but, I believe it to be true.
Some things are so scary and inconceivable for some of us, we block it out and it takes time for it to come back.
I remember you saying on the way back from the heath, maybe we were filming..you said that you feel bad every time a baby/ soul is introduced into this world..like it is a burden ..but an overall burden including the earth itself having this overload .
i am not sure what I said, much less what I meant. what were your feelings at the time?
I thought I was BAD.
As Michael Jackson said ” This is it ”
Your a baddass mutherfucker Jason
[ respect ]
Absolutely fascinating – in episode 1 of the Icarus enquiries you present Jake (The One) with a residual pride, still only semi-conscious of the vast inflation that has taken place – that within the engorged grandiosity of the construction the wound of the small boy still festers. The ego has soared from that which was denied to posturing showman and now here in episode 2 finally the realisation that it was just the smoke and levers of Oz – needy for the admiration, validation, respect and succour unavailable in the neutered home.
I am admiring of your quest Jasun, I have followed your output as a mute for a decade or more , flowing in and out as long term illness has permitted, and now as you wrestle with the gristle-end of your myth I find my own story embedded in it’s essential details. I will listen to episode 3 tomorrow for info on how this point of learning has evolved into your present deconstruction of the construct.
The conundrum it seems to me is that this venue that we correspond in now, this vast netherworld of blogs, you tubes, the cheese on toast banality of instagram et al – it is largely the kingdom of narcissus, so many millions of razor slashed children vying for acknowledgement, eyes on them adoration whilst at the same time tempting the back hand of judgement, the parental disavowal is also sewn into the deal.
To be whole, to be actual to be truly authentic does that then entail leaving behind this latest avatar ?, the acres of husk we spread across the internet in our name, or rather the boyhood ego seeking approval, another fix, another dopamine pellet in this Skinner Box of recognition . Is the rocks and earth world enough for you now ? Can you manifest fully in truth without the need for your online wraith ?
Does Enlightenment incorporate the slacking off of any and all methods of ego validation ?
Doesn’t this presuppose that the only reason to have an online presence is ego gratification, and that moving past that requires a literal renunciation of all that has ever once gratified the ego?
Only you know the true arithmetic of that equation.