Liminalist # 55.5: Unpacking the Shadow (with Mari H)


A second conversation with Mari H, on original sodomy, differentiating visions from reality, a psychic response to trauma, a prosthetic childhood, a lack of a core self, rejecting the social implant, how do people enjoy life, buffered against misfortune, the advantages of a cohesive family, a successful fragment, lacking the spirit of spontaneity, looking beyond the box, not having to ask why, the infinite experiencing sensory existence, a place of incomprehension, past life visions and karma, since God was a boy, classic schizophrenic experiences, identifying with Hitler, polarities of the human psyche, what’s outside  consciousness?, the wave & the particle, back to the gap, depersonalization and derealization, escaping alienation through movies, magical worlds, assembling a persona, how the soul returns as shadow, Jimmy Savile karma, R. D. Laing, unpacking the shadow, the shamanic techniques of ecstasy, sitting in the discomfort vs. super-powers & glory, Buddha & Maya, not listening to the voices, symbol traps, being tricked into a sense of urgency, the only response that works, defragging the psyche, the measure of good & evil, the psyche moves towards wholeness, finding metaphors to let go of the ego, a beautiful mind, paradoxes all the way down, a somatic memory of the stakes, complicity in the abomination, a world with Jimmy Savile in it, denying trauma, seeing deeper layers of our engineering, the tonic for obsession, getting grounded, fixating on external validation and ego inflation, trust not in thy visions, bodily sensations & night terrors, waiting to be skinned, emotions as physical symptoms, swallowing pain, the absence of the father/death of God, dreaming up a perfect father figure and being possessed by it, the guardian as good cop/bad cop, receiving information in visions, embodying the voices, the mother’s response, the need to be rescued from the mother’s psyche, the archetypal mother-father polarity, the mother’s unlived inner life.

Songs: “El Mariachi” & “Monkey Said” by The Freak Fandango Orchestra; “What Else is New?” by Art of Flying; “Itching for You,” by Trailer Bride.

10 thoughts on “Liminalist # 55.5: Unpacking the Shadow (with Mari H)”

  1. On ya Mari , who knows how far back the poison trail goes . London to a brick that somebody fiddled with granddad when he was a kid too . Finally someone as strong as yourself comes along in the genus to sort the whole ugly mess out .
    Listening to you guys talk reminded me of something i read early on in my occult journey , that eventually at the ” crossing of the abyss” or the point of integration , the magician must abandon his / her formulae or become a prisoner to it . At first , the dissociative finds the symbols useful and comforting , as they tend to live in a world being continually rocked by powerful and unfortunate repetetive external events , as the projected dissociated elements play out in compplex chains of cause and effect largely orchestrated by the individual .
    The symbols , rituals , aliens or narratives perhaps form part of an early attempt to exert some form of recognition and control over the Roeg elements , though at this point the map you have created for yourself may easily be confused with the territory , one runs the risk of identifying too closely with the system created and becomes imprisoned by it .
    Jasun seems to be largely at the point where he is discarding systems such as this and rejoining the world in far calmer and more wholistic fashion than when he left it , Jake the muss and the wind grasper having been temporary constructed waystations along the way .
    It is in this light that i am reconsidering my own sentimental attachment to painting , writing , myth and symbol , my own life having emerged into calm , stable , successful and loved waters , after 300 hours of Jungian analysis and 11 years of solid work .
    I guess i never wrote books , joined a group or tried to push my path to anyone else , but i dont see how i could have done it differently , would do it all again the same way .
    The pursuit of wholeness is indeed risky , and the way is littered with wrecks , as i seem to recall reading .
    A journey of a thousand miles has to begin somewhere , and Jasun these days seems to be suggesting psychology as the most viable path , and indeed you seem to be playing at psychologist with your guests now , which i have mixed feelings about .
    By the state of their lives you shall know them .
    Still , i cant imagine the work ever stops l there will always be something else to integrate , fortunately these days i am more of a participant in this process than a passenger or victim , and will ever i retain this hirsute hairsuit , my legacy will be with me , albeit somewhat depowered , my jungian friends tell me .

  2. Nicely stated. How do you feel about Jung now? Someone mentioned my “Jungian pollution” in this comment section a while back, but I cant recall who it was now. One of the “regulars” (tho I have noticed that regular commenters don’t comment for long, ie, there are very few regulars from more than a few months back, unless you keep changing monickers). I think I am playing at psychologist a lot less than back in the SWEDA daze. Mostly just conversations now, phew, what a relief.

  3. Yes i realise at some point i will draw a line under Jung as well and just ride quietly back into the world as a human being , i think i have a year or so to go. I realise that ” the jungians ” are themselves a magical order , one that has been marginalised by the mainstream, which was a good sign as far as i was concerned . Its adherents seem to be quite dedicated to King Carlos who had a history of screwing his workmates and patients . I get a frosty reception when i bring these things up with my analyst . Just goes to show you nobodies perfect , and Carl was at the cutting edge of this stuff i guess , making it up as he went along .
    All in all i have had only positive experiences , but like all these things , you have to keep your eyes open .
    There is a breakaway group of Jungians in Europe at the moment that is keen for the order to wallow only in myth , dream and symbol, withdrawing from the workaday world , which is disastrous . I am thinking they have probably been infiltrated . There are plenty of people calling themselves ” jungian analyst ” now , so you have to be quite discerning . Mari , be prepared to tell mummy to go jump in the lake and dont look back
    Yes , i am not surprised people who have come to your blog in search of the matrix warrior and the wind grasper quickly drift off when they realise there is only a middle aged man with a nice wife, a quiet life, a second hand store, a three legged cat and a soul as hard and shining as a diamond that leaves the reader with no place to hide !

  4. Tired from a day of moving rocks and cycling through spring countryside, abundant green and baby goats leaping over newborn lambs in a sea of asphodels– because scenes like this still exist somewhere– I listened to this as far as ‘a successful fragment’ and then I just looked up the music, put there (I assume) by someone’s mad intuition

    This one, to me, is like the aftershock, the post-coital cigarette, where you talk things over, and all the trauma seems to be in the past, where you can discuss it and go over it because if it ever disappeared for good you’d be lost

    That’s when I noticed the missing ‘A’ – and what remains when it’s gone.

    ‘A’ for the Greeks being the original cosmic force that arrived here from far away and keeps adding itself to everything

    ‘O’ being what happens when it blends with the world

    and you’re so g-d lost not even g-d can find you – that’s the wind talking, where the “O” went missing – or the “o” because the Greek alphabet is missing some consonants but it has omicron and Omega

    it even has a few forms of ‘i’ — because it’s rich in vowels despite the recent “crisis” which i Hope has nothing to do with ‘Isis”

    in other words even Leonard is g-bsm-cked and neither ever thought that this could happen

  5. I really enjoyed that one. Great stuff. “Stay liminal” should be your catchphrase Jasun…You know, if you ever hit the consensus reality big time. 😉

    • If I hit the big time, I will no longer be liminal, and the words will become empty, like all good catchphrases…. 😉

  6. There are obviously people very sensitive to taking what we believe to be less dangerous forms of drugs. But, with Mari, even she thinks what she took was laced with other ingredients to make it far stronger and hallucinogenic than normal weed. I have an interview that Jasun did here too with a guy that smoked weed, and it basically made him mentally ill for years!!!

    What I’d like to know is how often is weed being laced with other ingredients to frack with people’s minds so seriously??? It seems you must have a trusted source for weed, otherwise you run the risk of getting screwed by what should be a normally safe product. However, even a safe source does effect people sometimes in dramatically different ways even with the same weed.

    Anyone that is going to experiment with drugs had better be certain of the quality and source of the product. I’m glad many states in the USA now allow the use of weed for medical or personal use.

    I hope Mari has not used her real initial in her name. Imo, the Internet is far too unsafe to risk losing her real identity here. Please do not use any real initials for your last name.


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