The Liminalist # 55: The Afterlife of the Constructed Identity; or, God’s Problem (with Mari H)


In-depth esoteric explorations (part one) with Mari H, on Whitley Strieber, UFOs, projections of the unconscious, meeting entities in hats, a creature without a face, a weed-induced psychosis, visitations, becoming radioactive, a trip to the primordium, demonic incarnation through sodomy, visions of being Jimmy Savile, gaps in memory, the flyers and the mechanical mind, Morgellons disease, thoughts as nanotechnological implants, astral rape at the dawn of man, where is the psyche, is there anything outside the psyche?, Stargate and ascension fantasies the mythology of the Greys, the Xenomorph, a fear-based mind, radiation in the 5th dimension, marijuana-possession, raped by purple stripes, the home of the psyche, the perspective of a fragment, how the formless takes form, how ego creates its own reality, turning the mundane into the magical, the hunt for the mystical, 1st and 2nd matrix, a spiral staircase to nowhere, banishing an entity, tulpa & The X-Files, can psychic fragments become physical?, stigmata and somatics, creating tulpas, encountering the unconscious, a partial embodiment, the imaginal, imaginary, & real, the afterlife of the constructed identity, the ego lacks sentience, the subtle forms, Bardo realms, inside the belly of the inorganics, a prison made of minds, world-as-abomination, God’s problem, the constitution of consciousness, long outro by Jasun.

Songs: “El Mariachi” & “Monkey Said” by The Freak Fandango Orchestra; Julia’s Brains, by Kirk Peason & Julia Egan; “Pasture,” by Trailer Bride; unknown song.

26 thoughts on “The Liminalist # 55: The Afterlife of the Constructed Identity; or, God’s Problem (with Mari H)”

  1. Finally, a woman. I was beginning to think … but never mind. I get the notion you were both speaking from the 5th dimension, all those flashing lights and flying objects. Anyway, loved this one.

    • “Finally, a woman. I was beginning to think …”


      You were begining to think what?

      Please refrain from suggesting the night is darker than it actually is.


      • I don’t see any darkness here – I see lots of light. I think when men and women really talk to each other, as happens in this podcast. trumpet-like sounds break out, the whole world shifts to a higher dimension, dreams come true, and light babies come to birth.

        • Indeed; but I have a suggestion for all those who prefer to curse the darkness than light a candle;

          send Jasun an e-mail with your suggestion regarding a podcast guest.


          send him some money.

          • Ann is a regular donator; & has been on the podcast.

            I am also curious about the ” . . .”

            It’s not like I’m not trying to find women to talk to me. : )

          • I really just meant that I was moved by this particular podcast, and by Mari’s voice, her way with language, the way nothing stops her when she gets hold of a thought or a feeling that needs to be translated into thought, and also how she speaks from what i felt to be a brave, lonely place all her own. I.e. she listens to her inner Amazon, and that can be hard to hear (especially for men) and jasun was great, he almost shut it down, which is what often happens when people describe their ‘psychotic’ experiences but he kept going, offering structure, and I do appreciate that. And that’s when sparks began appearing, in the dialogue.

            I loved her accent too (where is she from, north of England or ??) and I did wonder about those mic noises but began to hear them as trumpets without even having listened yet to the 54.5 where trumpets also come up, predictively, perhaps. Well, I know I’m confusing what I dreamed that morning with what I heard in the podcast: in which i was informed that we were definitely entering 5th dimensional space, changing our relationships, our way of knowing — sorry, I’m repeating myself.

            I’d also been learning about the ancient Greek language, how it arrived on earth from some other world, perfectly formed, and how each of its letters is a manifestation of cosmic energy. And in particular, what is stressed is that there are consonants and vowels. Consonants are male, vowels are female. Consonants build words but vowels allow for the expanded expression of (divine) energy through creation.

            So, trumpets.

            Of course, I was excited and forgot for a moment there have been other great women on this podcast.

    • Hi Ann

      Thanks for your kind words (was rather dreading reading the comments but the narcissist in me couldn’t stay away!) Middle England. Just wanted to connect – much love (very much enjoyed your podcast too)

      • MariH; why were you dreading reading the comments?

        Share your trauma with us; show us your intergenerational wounds?

        Get naked for us.

        Thank you.

        • i would blind you, if i take that literally. In case the comments was negative (MariH is just a idiot) and so embarrassed my poor constructed identity that it decided to threw me off a bridge. this is what i expect (Grandpa, bless his pedophile heart used humiliation to get me to do as i was told) I’m flakey too, only just thought to check see if what else was said. yes to take on board negativity can be like actual snakes writhing under my burning skin, and it replays over and over and over, because i believe i am just the worst thing, most embarrassing that walks this earth and so im quite self important too! but if i can strip off anymore please ask x

  2. Hello Jasun,

    I really appreciate this work. I listen every week. Please feel free to send me an email if you want to connect somehow. I am a bit shy about reaching out but you have stated your purpose for doing this so many times now so… hello!

  3. hello, hello, is anyone home?
    is it possible there’s more than one page of comments, cause some ne’er do well absconded with mine, and, or do these comments articulate a metaphor for what happens when an elephant is in the room along with a bird with a broken wing?
    i have to say ive been rehashing the above conversation- referring to the actual podcast with mari and jasun- all day. i think i was actually holding my breath right about the moment jasun voiced his reservations for airing the conversation based on the tumultuous very recent ordeal mari was in the throes of recounting.
    for what its worth jasun, i was all for that call on your part, you could say i had your back, and no you couldn’t say, “oh great, now here goes nana”, cause i’m still here. which really makes me laugh at my own gall, as if you struck me as the type who worries much about what other people think of the choices you make.
    so, at the moment i’m still stewing, and i need time to cool off, yew know, so as to be coherent.

    how is it that no one has an issue with . . . no. let me rephrase that. no one takes exception to authors, celebrities, their handlers, agents et al who advocate or promote in their wildly provocative writings or oral musings of shaman lead ayahuasca taking.
    is the above more, or less cringeworthy for us the listener? and this was precipitated by merely partaking of the herb. and we herbalists must refrain from doing what- because we’re not doctors– what was it again, exactly? and who was that young upstart who wrote a book, was it squeezebeak, or no maybe it was foodick or maybe both were and are in on it together to crack our collective heads wide open. and so what if we do right? maybe we’d have the decency to go somewhere less public, more luxurious to recupe our pate.
    there are more than a few things going on here besides the obvious. i wont look away as much as i want to.

    as far as lights coming on, or cursing the darkness. here’s a thot. imagine a world where the lights never came on. it’s helpful to think of this the next time the power goes out and you resign yourself to waiting out the inconvenience. now imagine a world not unlike the one mari describes but with out sound. now imagine never having heard mari’s story because, oops i forgot to mention you cant speak either. oh well, carry on then cause if you didn’t have occasion to hear something then it means it doesn’t exist right. right? isn’t that how it works now, nothing is real or exists?
    start with what we know for sure, how bout that. i could be premature, but i bet i’m not, so thanks jasun, some times we have to be willing to stand in the shadow just to see the light.

    • So you lost a comment? Nothing at this end.

      I am a bit unclear as to what you are stewing about… It’s clear this podcast affected you but not so obvious how or why…. Can you say more?


      • no. i didn’t lose a comment, i was being facetious. perhaps it’s just me, and i missed something. the comments seemed a bit off the cuff, and unclear. in which case i am, to paraphrase bill, the only fool at present.
        as hard as it was to hear the anguish in the conversation, from both your ends now, i neglected to say what was on my mind the whole day. i admire the tenacity and courage of mari to delve the depths of not only her primary trauma, but this particular recent trauma, as well as the traumatic conspiracy she is au courrant with.
        and in a public venue where she bares all.
        you were there, you were decent, it just struck me that more must be required of us the listeners. it is difficult to know where to begin, so i threw caution to the wind and jumped in.
        the piece you wrote, POI and the other that followed re: streiber and the fellow whose name escapes me at present, all play into this don’t they. rhetorical, i know, this was a generation that included millions of people and many of us are still here with our blinders off; the song they’re still singing is right in our faces but we might as well be deaf and blind.
        sound. think of it.
        thanks for being so thoughtful about this, my second faux pas.

  4. Yeah , i was into your discussion about the disembodied demons that require energy to continue their existence . I may be unusual as an occultist who has never taken psychedelic drugs or joined into any cult or group ritual , having a “normal” life and responsible job during my rational hours . I think this means i may tend to keep disocciated elements bound into the forms of dream, ailments , synchronicities , feelings, deja vu , chance encounters . When you unloose the girders of the mind with psychedelics and other drugs , however , it has been suggested that they are not so easily put back together , and i surmise that it may then be easier for these ” beings” to apparate in more spectacular visions and behaviours , narratives fervently subscribed to . I suppose completely discounting the possibility of their existence may be the same beast as passionately believing in them .
    I remember watching a horror movie set in a Grand Crumbling Mansion in the swampy everglades somewhere in the U.S deep south , when an old brujera asks the protagonist if he believed in demons to which he replied “no” ……”Then you’d best leave here before you do !”

  5. another great slice of liminal pie !
    Bravo to Mari the brave. I appreciated her thoughts and feelings about how bizarre yet illuminating an “episode” like she experienced can be. From the outside these sorts of experiences seem mostly terrible and undesirable but of course this isn’t always the case.
    regarding reality sandwich… I think your line of research and blogging about ritual abuse and such may be a different fuel than their robust 2nd matrix generator is equipped to handle.

  6. Mari, you mentioned casting a spell on someone you knew was in prison, and he “threatened” you in some vision you recently had of him while on that strong weed. What was the purpose of the spell? What were you practicing “knowledge wise” to cast a spell on someone? Is this something you practiced for a long time? Do you still believe in casting spells for some purposes?


    Let us know if you come into some dramatic breakthroughs in your knowledge about “the other side” you seem so exposed to. Don’t let it drive you crazy; just drop-it if it becomes too stressful.

  7. Jasun, you mentioned articles you wrote were not being posted at Reality Sandwich and Disinfo, because some of the people there were likely connected to Strieber and don’t want to offend him [or his supporters] with your alternate viewpoints. Also, you wanted to post an article in reply to a Satanic religion article.

    Were any of these articles of yours ever posted at those websites? Links?

    If not, have you posted these to your website instead? Please link.


    • RS, not disinfo the review of Super Natural, as I stated in the podcast. I haven’t submitted my riposte about satanism; instead I submitted the piece on organized abuse, which I linked at the blog.


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