The Paystreak is Always Invisible (So Find & Follow the Bedrock)

Each week, as many of you know, I attend Dave Oshana’s Sunday events (and the occasional Saturday ones). They provide what I try to provide for others: inspiration, gentle encouragement to grasp the nettle of existence, a breath of fresh air inside the stale, dark dungeon of the mind (we all have our own whine cellars we need releasing from).

There is no longer any question for me as to whether to support Dave in his mission. It is instinctive, effortless, inevitable. Su misión es mi mission, and vice versa. Symbiosis.

As with the bee and the flower, both need each other, not to exist­–that’s assured, and both have their own distinct orientations and purposes–but to optimize the potential of both parties, and that of existence itself.

For those who have been following along with my open exploration until now to overlook, ignore, or avoid Dave’s thing would be to miss out on the pay streak at the end of all this gold-panning. What a shame that would be![1]


There are things–essential things–that you and I still need to do together, before we drop these bodies and embark on our one-way definitive journey of zero distance to eternity.

I am aware that you have your own life to live (or think you do), and that (you also think) I have mine. Also that connections deep enough to weather the tempest of temporal reality–in which everything will eventually be destroyed and leave no physical traces–don’t depend on any observable action or offering, gesture or show of hands (or toppling of heads).

At the same time, it is by our fruit, not our words, thoughts, or beliefs, that we are known. What are we here for, if not for putting our roots down deep into the natural world, to reach a harmonious, loving rapport with a reality that is objectively real, eternal and everlasting?

Like a man on his deathbed, I have been wondering what will be the net worth of my efforts so far–all the books, articles, podcasts, interviews, and so on–much of which you have consumed, at minimal cost and commitment, for your own edification and enjoyment?

If our relationship remains a parasocial one, it is by definition one-sided, and–notwithstanding the odd book sale or donation–literally as if you never existed for me. Since there is no such animal as a one-sided relationship, does that mean I never existed for you?


There have been so many connections in my life, found or made, only to be dropped and forgotten. Souls come, they stay a while, then, as mysteriously as they appeared, they fall away, like autumnal leaves, just as if never having been there at all.

Since the Playwall has been established at this site, a number of people have reached out to me for 1:1 consultations. In part, they seem to want to secure a connection that they perceive as being in danger of disappearing as I phase out of the public production business.

For my part, I am trying to establish–or uncover–connections that I do not yet perceive as existing, to take the parasocial out of online relationships, to bring them into primal, real-time, face-to-face engagement.

This one goes out to those lost shipmates and absent limbs. We need you more than ever. Because, if the gangplank raises and the entryway closes while you are still on the outside, you don’t only lose us, we also lose you.

The dire prognosis is that, either we all make it out of Hell (either we make it out with all of us), or no one does.


The ostensible impetus for this blogpost was once again, to reopen the eye of the needle to see if there are any living left here willing to bury their dead, lift up their heads, and make the painful but exhilarating transition–from studying evil to embracing and serving goodness; from paranoia to metanoia.

Practically, it is to promote a couple of upcoming (i.e., right now) Dave events, first up: “Unveiling Evil: What It Is and What To Do About It,” on Saturday 15th (this one not for newbs), and “Knowing Existence Knowing You: The Consciousness of True Free Self-Expression” (both at 5pm UK time).

Secondly, it is to invite anyone who has been tempted to reach to me for a 1:1 who perhaps feels unsure what to consult about, or why, to participate in a group meet explicitly for first-timers, to ask all the burning questions they have, and to take the temperature of these post-paranoia waters which you are, I hope, even now thinking of diving into.

To request a group meeting with myself and others (it will require a minimum number to take place), fill out the short form here.


[1] Recently, I was thinking about something Luke Dodson said about Dave, during a Guy Dance meeting. A penny dropped for me regarding the suspicion and scepticism that certain readers, listeners, and associates have expressed about my working with and promoting Dave. I realized that they–and I–had it backwards: it’s not that my supporting Dave validates him. It’s that Dave’s interest in working with me, to anyone with ears to hear or eyes to see, proves that Dave’s project is worth your time and attention. As Luke pointed out, what cult-building “guru” in his or her right mind would ever want to have someone like me around, checking their underwear for skid-marks with every turn of their washing machine?

3 thoughts on “The Paystreak is Always Invisible (So Find & Follow the Bedrock)”

  1. I haven’t posted in awhile since I assumed the living had all been raptured.

    Correct, Saturday’s online event is not for newcomers, since it threatens to awaken the deepest ancestral existential fears. However, that’s what you have been prepping your parasocials for. So, if anyone can get past your filters in the next 12 hours, and then mine, then I’ll consider them. I hate to leave people behind, but we can no longer carry dead weight. This is not an offer that will be repeated here and it is to warn off and put off most folk. There’s no truth finding without a period of discomfort.

    • Ya, no, not raptured yet. LOL
      But I do appear to have found my tribe, some local and some far, far away.

      Many blessings

  2. This message could not have come at a better time. I am becoming acutely aware that I too often become that autumnal leaf in people’s lives, well aware that I am willfully retreating—even while creating logical arguments as to why I don’t have the time—like a fish that slips out of the fisherman’s hands.

    All this to say that I’ll be reaching out and hope to connect soon via a one-on-one.


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